At some point along the way, many women quietly decide:
“It’s safer not to want too much.”
Maybe you’ve thought:
- “Every time I hope, I get disappointed.”
- “That door is closed for me now.”
- “I should be grateful for what I have and stop wanting more.”
So you still show up.
You still serve.
You still take care of everyone else.
But inside, parts of you feel… shut down.
In this final February message, I want to gently invite you to consider:
What if some of your desires are not problems to fix,
but clues to the life God is still inviting you into?
Why we shut down our desires
There are good reasons we learn to “numb out” our hopes:
- heartbreak or betrayal
- loss of a spouse, relationship, or dream
- years of putting others first and never having time for ourselves
- seasons where survival left no room for “what do I want?”
We tell ourselves:
- “It’s silly to want that now.”
- “I’m too old for that.”
- “It’s selfish to think about my dreams.”
Or we’ve seen desires twisted or used selfishly, so we’re not sure if wanting anything is even okay.
But desire itself isn’t the enemy.
Desire is part of what makes you alive.
Desire as part of how God made you
There’s a difference between:
- shallow, comparison-driven wanting
and - deep, God-given desire for connection, purpose, creativity, impact, and joy
You were created with the capacity to:
- love and be loved
- create and contribute
- enjoy beauty, rest, and relationships
- long for more of God and His purposes in your life
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4
This isn’t a blank check for everything we want.
It’s an invitation to let God shape and meet our truest desires as we draw close to Him.
Naming what your heart still longs for
If it feels safe enough, you might take some time this week with a journal and ask:
- “What would I admit I want… if I wasn’t afraid of being disappointed?”
- “If I believed I wasn’t too late, what desire would I let myself name?”
- “What keeps tugging at me—an idea, a dream, a type of connection—that I keep pushing down?”
Your desires might include things like:
- deeper friendship and community
- a more connected marriage
- the courage to open your heart to love again
- a creative project
- a health goal that’s about freedom, not punishment
- a new path in work, ministry, or service
You don’t have to broadcast these desires to the world.
Start by simply being honest—with yourself and with God.
Bringing your desires to God instead of hiding them
Many women hesitate to bring their desires to God because they’re afraid of:
- being told “no”
- feeling silly
- getting their hopes up
But He already knows what’s in your heart.
You might pray:
“Lord, here’s what I really want in this next chapter…
even the parts I’m embarrassed or afraid to say out loud.
If these desires are from You, breathe on them.
Shape them, refine them, and show me how to walk them out.
If some desires are not from You, gently loosen my grip
and give me something better, even if I don’t see it yet.”
This isn’t about demanding your way.
It’s about letting God into the very places you’ve been trying to protect by shutting down.
One small, courageous step
Desire without any action can start to feel heavy.
But action doesn’t have to be huge. It can be small and courageous.
Ask:
“What is one low-risk, meaningful step I can take toward this desire?”
Examples:
- Longing for friendship? → Reach out to one person and invite them for coffee or a walk.
- Wanting to create again? → Set a 20-minute timer to write, paint, or plan.
- Curious about coaching or counseling? → Schedule one conversation to explore it.
- Wondering about love again? → Bring it honestly to God and one trusted friend.
You don’t have to build the whole dream this month.
You just need to take the next, kindest step.
A blessing for your heart and your future
Let this blessing rest over you:
May the parts of your heart that went quiet begin to stir again.
May you feel safe enough to admit what you really want in this next chapter.
May God gently sift through your desires—keeping what is from Him,
and freeing you from what isn’t.
May you sense His delight as you come alive in new ways.
And may you take one small, brave step toward the life He’s still inviting you into.
A simple prayer for courage to desire again
“Jesus, You know the places where my heart has gone quiet—
where disappointment, grief, or busyness have caused me to stop hoping.
I bring You my desires, even the ones that feel risky to admit.
Show me which ones are from You.
Shape them, purify them, and lead me in Your timing.
Give me courage to take one small, faithful step toward the life
You’re calling me into in this next chapter.
Help me to live not from fear or resignation,
but from a heart that is fully alive in You.
In Your name, amen.”
You’re not too late.
You’re not asking for “too much.”
You’re a woman created for connection, purpose, and joy—
and God is not finished writing with your life.